Why Some Advice Only Works for Certain People

What astrology has taught me about privilege, perseverance, and the danger of mistaking luck for wisdom.

Successful people often speak in a deep voice with a confident delivery, generously advising others—people who do not share their wiring—on how to succeed exactly as they did.

Many believe they earned their money meritoriously, when in fact they have no idea how lucky they are. For them, every bad thing that happened turned out to be a stepping stone to a bigger opportunity. When they worked hard, they made measurable progress. Effort was rewarded. Cause led to effect.

They don’t know that some people are born under a sky full of planetary conflict—too much of one quality, none of another—and spend their lives compensating for an imbalance they didn’t choose.

I’ve had a front-row seat to some of these lives. I’ve watched carefully, trying to see what these people are doing wrong, only to discover: nothing.

For some, it’s obstacle after obstacle. A moment of reprieve, and then another awful thing crashes in—diseases they didn’t earn, injuries that don’t heal, betrayal in primary and intimate relationships. Awful betrayal.

In spite of this, they work their guts out. They are generous to others. They receive next to no gold stars.

These people have to cope with difficulty in ways unfathomable to those born to beat the odds. They must actively fight the feeling of being victims because—by God—they have been victimized.

They live with chronic conditions. They learn what it means to be content with a different kind of happy than the one we’re sold from day one.

Recently, I heard a successful author being interviewed. She said:

“If I hadn’t known, deep in my bones and in the very heart of me, that I had a great and unique contribution to make to the literary canon, I would never have succeeded. I would never have even tried.”

I can guess at her astrology.

Hearing this, a wonderfully talented writer with a sensitive, watery chart and Saturn aspects that breed insecurity might give up before they start—and become an accountant.

This is why it matters who you take advice from.

It’s important that your mentors are cut from the same cloth as you—or, at the very least, that they understand the difference between what they were given and what they truly earned.

A Personal Note: This piece isn’t an argument against effort, ambition, or personal responsibility. It’s a reflection on difference—on the uneven starting points we rarely see, and the compassion that becomes possible when we do.